Archive for March, 2012

March 8, 2012

The Presidential Platform

Here is what must be the platform of the Republican nominee for President:

1. NO IMMIGRATION

America cannot afford more immigrants. All illegal immigrants currently in America must be put in detention, then deported when they have earned enough money to pay for a plane ticket home.

2. NO MUSLIMS

Muslims are no longer allowed to live in America. They must either convert to Christianity or go home.

3. NO BIRTH CONTROL

Birth control must be outlawed in America.

4. NO GAYS

Ban being gay in America.

5. NO EVOLUTION

Evolution must not be taught in our schools. We  must pass a Constitutional amendment against evolution.

6. NO BUDGET

All federal spending (other than defense) must be immediately cancelled.

7. NO ABORTION

Ban the murder of the unborn.

8.¬†UNDO OBAMA’S SUPREME COURT NOMINEES

Because Obama was an illegal President, all his decisions must be nullified.

9. TAX CUTS FOR JOB CREATORS

We need to fix the disaster known as the Obama failed economy.

10. ENGLISH

We must establish English as the only language allowed in America. People speaking other languages can be shot on site.

11. MANDATORY GUN OWNERSHIP

Help us prevent liberal acts of terror.

12. NO EDUCATION

We don’t need to waste taxpayer money on education. Children learn all they need at home and at Church.

13. END ANTI-AMERICAN PROGRAMS

Ban NPR, Planned Parenthood, Media Matters and George Soros. Execute Julian Assange.