The Presidential Platform

Here is what must be the platform of the Republican nominee for President:

1. NO IMMIGRATION

America cannot afford more immigrants. All illegal immigrants currently in America must be put in detention, then deported when they have earned enough money to pay for a plane ticket home.

2. NO MUSLIMS

Muslims are no longer allowed to live in America. They must either convert to Christianity or go home.

3. NO BIRTH CONTROL

Birth control must be outlawed in America.

4. NO GAYS

Ban being gay in America.

5. NO EVOLUTION

Evolution must not be taught in our schools. We  must pass a Constitutional amendment against evolution.

6. NO BUDGET

All federal spending (other than defense) must be immediately cancelled.

7. NO ABORTION

Ban the murder of the unborn.

8. UNDO OBAMA’S SUPREME COURT NOMINEES

Because Obama was an illegal President, all his decisions must be nullified.

9. TAX CUTS FOR JOB CREATORS

We need to fix the disaster known as the Obama failed economy.

10. ENGLISH

We must establish English as the only language allowed in America. People speaking other languages can be shot on site.

11. MANDATORY GUN OWNERSHIP

Help us prevent liberal acts of terror.

12. NO EDUCATION

We don’t need to waste taxpayer money on education. Children learn all they need at home and at Church.

13. END ANTI-AMERICAN PROGRAMS

Ban NPR, Planned Parenthood, Media Matters and George Soros. Execute Julian Assange.

Advertisements

6 Comments to “The Presidential Platform”

  1. Are you serious?

  2. Yes, of course we’re serious. It’s time we reclaim America from the socialists and the masturbaters. All candidates for President must sign a pledge that as President:

    1. i will never apologize for America
    2. I will speak no language but English
    3. I will only allow English to be spoken in the White House
    4. I will not allow Muslims in the White House
    5. i will not allow any female member of my family to use contraception
    6. I will never hire an immigrant
    7. I will not believe in evolution
    8. I will not allow any female member of my family to have an abortion, under any circumstances.
    9. I will carry a gun in the White House at all times.
    10. I will not send my children to liberal brainwashing schools

    • Man you are funny!! Normally I would say you are a menace to society, and maybe even dangerous. After reading your blog all I would really say is that I feel sorry for you. You are so delirious and mis-guided that I honestly believe you are no threat at all. I have spent the best part of 15 minutes reading your blog entries and I would normally be annoyed at myself for wasting that much time reading stuff I truly do not believe in, however I am actually enjoying reading this. It has brought a smile to my face just through the sheer stupidity of it all and for that I would like to thank you.

      • I have to agree with you to the fullest, i thought this should piss me of or cause concern, but all I got was Tons of laughs.
        Great blog for a laugh.

  3. whoknows, you may laugh now, but Jesus will always win in the end.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: