Is it anti-American to eat dogs?

This week I received a letter from a reader, who asks:

Dir Sir,

It has recently come to light that Hussein Obama has eaten dogs. Is this something we need to respect as part of local culture, or is this un-American behavior?

There are certain dietary allowances we must make as Americans. For example, our Jewish brothers and sisters are allowed their traditional kosher diet because we need them for the rapture. In other words, if the diet of the foreigners benefits Americans, then we support it.

However, eating dogs is ALWAYS anti-American. There are a few reasons for this:

1) Eating dogs is part of Indonesian culture, and Indonesia is an Islamic country. Thus, everything done in Indonesia is the polar opposite of American values. It is something we must hate and deplore, and strive to eradicate from the earth.

2) Dogs are pets, not food. Eating dogs shows a hostility against the traditional American lifestyle that may be unmatched in modern history, other than speaking Spanish in America. Hussein Obama deliberately and purposefully hurt America by eating dogs that could have been brought to America and loved by patriotic American Christians.

3) Obama has no birth certificate AND has eaten dogs. Is there any longer a question that he’s a foreigner?

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